By Ah BE (Molida)
Life is a
long time, I’ve never thought about how long life was, but now everything seems
short. Every breathe and choices that I’ll have could leave myself in regrets,
unable to sight the ones I loved could hurt so bad, not knowing who or what
will be at my last sight. It seemed
unpredictable, for a person. my age to face the loss of colors. Like I really
was marked for it, having spent the last half of my life doing unfulfilled
tasks, but now putting every seconds of life into a small box. To be the last
to receive the pain, to be the first to
regret, my family knew it all along but still choose to hide it from me. I’ve
always dreamed of traveling to one island in this world, the heart of everything,
just of the coast Australia, Tasmania.
“I just have
to go, for once it will be alright, get on the plane and they’ll never find me,
and remember never use your credit card cause he’s going to find you ” I
mumbled. Entering the large crystal clear automatic glass door with my leather
polka-dot briefcase, I knew it was the only way that I’ll be able to cross the
last task on my list. It wasn’t impossibly hard to find my way around this
place, what everyone calls an airport. “Cump! Cump!” my heels echoed throughout
the gateway, the feeling as if I was examined head to toe. “Gate 9, that’s the
one!”, rolling across the carpet to man with the blue suit and unordinary cap,
I handed my ticket. There he positioned it into a slot, where it came out the
other side with just only half of it left. “Have a safe flight!” the man told
me, I pinched a smile and walk off. As I was approaching the corridor, I could
hear the gushing of the wind against the giant aluminum plate, it was an over
the cloud feeling, the part that I didn’t had to worry about the blurriness. “Good
Morning! May I help you find your seat?” a sugary soft voice draw near my ear,
I turned left to distinguish a woman in another suit similar to the man
outside, she was indescribably gorgeous in another unordinary hair accessory. I
followed her down the pathway where she showed me my seat, it wasn’t far, but
it was unlike the others, it certainly was ink blue, on it lay a folded square
blanket, it was larger than any other than the ones at the back. Picked up my
briefcase and set it on the overhead cupboard, many other kept passing by
heading for the back, I sat down took
out my Ipod and turned on my favorite.
Three hours
has a passed by, “Ting-Tong! We will be arriving at the Hobart International
Airport in 10 minutes” it was announced. “Bling!” It was an email from my best friend
Anna it says that she has already booked a room for me in The Henry Jones Art
Hotel, I kept scrolling to see if there was more information, just below
address was a self image of a girl, beneath it says: She’ll be your roommate
for your stay, keep warm and stay close, PS: I choose the Hotel purposely just
because you and your roommate are so fascinated in art. Love Anna :). I wasn’t
expecting much of it, just a roommate would be fine. I quickly tighten my
seatbelt knowing that the plane was landing. Out of the corner of my eye I
could see flight attendants making their way to the doorways, I immediately stood
up, settle my briefcase down, grab my handbag and made my way out the door and
into the airport. The atmosphere just transformed, “I am standing in Tasmania,
the place that my mind and heart could never reached, for other people it may
seems only three hours but for me it was a lifetime. I swiftly got out of the
airport and was on the main road, quickly put my arms up high and got a cab.
Settle myself and my briefcase in, I handed the taxi driver the Hotel’s
address, we passed by many historical buildings, it was fascinating to watch,
on the other side was the crystal clear ocean. The blueness of the ocean spread
along the horizon bleaching into the orange of the sunset, I took out my camera
and started capturing those moments. As I arrived at the hotel, I examined my
handbag looking for the phone number I had written down, walked into the lounge
and sat on one of the extraordinary orange chair, in front of me was a tall
pale guy, his hair shining black across his forehead in a blue-shirt and short
jeans. I couldn’t see his face, even though I was only centimeters away from
him, he wore one those fashionable black caps, and beside him was a briefcase
similar to mine but silver. For me, meeting a stranger is really hard, I’ve
always grown up in a family that looked after me just like a glass, unwilling
to hurt or let it fall. Just moments, everything around me turned upside down,
one became two, and two became four. Out of my pocket I took out my box of
medicine, picked out a few and threw them into my mouth, everything seemed to
become one again, I messaged the number I had been given, questioning where is
she at. I could hear a beeping sound in front of me, he was also occupied
typing his message too. Soon, I received a message, she said she’s been waiting
for me in the lounge, I turned my body three hundred and sixty degrees but
couldn’t find any traces of the girl I saw in the picture. I quickly replied
her, and told her that I’m in the lounge too, I could still hear the beeping
sound coming from across. I received a message again this time saying that she
is sitting on one of the orange seats besides the paintings. Again I looked
around but couldn’t seem to find her, out of nowhere the tall pale guy sounded
“Are you Clair?” it seemed unexpected for someone having the same native
language as me to be in Tasmania. “Yes, that’s me Claire.” “So, we’re sharing
the room aren’t we?” I was shocked for a moment but laughed “Impossible!” I
immediately took out my phone and showed him the picture I’ve saved, this time
he laughed and murmured, “That was me dressed up by my friends as a dared”. My temper
started to rise knowing that he has pulled this trick on me, he tried to explain
to undo his fault but it was no use. I looked away, but out of the corner of my
eye, I could see him opening his silver briefcase, something pink and colorful
attracted my eyes, the item told the story. This good looking guy was actually
gay, I decided to forgive him knowing that I couldn’t get myself another room
because of my credit card. “It’s okay, we can share” We both soon manage to get
to our room and changed, that evening we were invited for an exquisite dinner.
I put on my white t-shirt and blue skirt, we both went out. It was under this
wooden shed elaborated with white and red flowers, lights were dangling of some
trees, I could hear the sound of the violin and the ocean tides clashing. On
the table, laid a plate of some Australian cuisine, but on the other side I
could also feel the soft ocean breeze across my skin. We both sat down in front
of each other and started some random but interesting conversations. Beside us,
was also some fairly older couple’s chit-chattering. They invited us into their
conversations “Why don’t you two share about your proposal as well” the lady
beside me asked. There was silence for a while except the sound of the violin,
but I decided to make it up “Well, it wasn’t that long I ago that he proposed to
me” I explain roughly. “It was in a restaurant, we usually went too. It felt
different because there was so many roses about 2000 roses” “Isn’t that right
Alex” I asked while twitching my eyes at him” “Ahh!! Yes, 2012 since the year
was 2012”
I continued “But I couldn’t tell what was happening, suddenly out of nowhere
his dog Cookie came, she was wearing a hat. So, I lifted it up and there was a
ring, he then took it and asked me to marry him” “So that was how we got
married” I explain while twitching and winking at Alex. “Why don’t you tell us
what he said to you” “He said... umm..” I was confused and speechless for a while
for I couldn’t think of anything to say, but suddenly he took my hands and laid
it on his chest and said “As long as my heart is still beating, I’ll love you,
that’s what I said” he told the elders. It felt like he and all the others had
just taken me out of my comfort zone, I never knew what love really felt like,
I had always thought life is too short to think about these things, I paused
for a moment to gather my thoughts back. We came back to the hotel, just around
the corner a guy dressed in a flowery suit was waiting, and we approached him
beside him was a silver briefcase like a copied of Alex’s. I soon found out the
truth that the briefcase was an accidental switch, and that Alex was not gay. I
was disappointed to know that he lied to me, my family had always guarded me in
my comfort place, but now needing to face this just hurts.
The sun
started to rise, I was an early riser. By the seashore I sat, gazing the sun, I
knew I had to return home for the operation. We both quickly left the hotel
after some breakfast and a walk through the art gallery. We visited many
historical and mother- nature charming places and even took many photos. Alex
went to rent a vintage car, while I waited. I soon came across a wedding
studio, the dress was unbelievably pretty, white as snow. I’m starting to see
the colors and taste life, but this time at the edge of losing it too. I
entered the studio where I later find myself in the dress. I took a few twirls
and walk around reflecting myself in the mirror. I was waiting for Alex for him
to see me in the dress, unexpectedly the door open but it wasn’t Alex instead
it was my brother Ken. “I’m taking you home Claire, no matter what” exclaimed
Ken. I was afraid, I didn’t want to face the line where I will lose the colors
or even face death. I told him that I would go change, I got into the dressing
room and told the owner that he’ll be paying for my dress. In coincidence Alex
just arrived in his blue roofless polished vintage car. I rushed out of the
fragile studio jumped into the car with Ken following behind but as we turned
the corner he was nowhere to be seen. It felt as if the rock was lifted off my
shoulders, even though it was reality but I couldn’t face it. We drove along
the sparkling deep blue ocean from a distance, I stood up arms open clashing
against the soft air, I could feel myself in Tasmania the heart that I have always
wanted to witness. Not far away, we came upon a lavender farm, purple and green
mashed together spread open over more than 7 hectares of land, there was
nothing but just the lavenders the height of my knees, the purple reaching up
to the sky and down to my tip toe. I ran and ran in between the lavender lines,
my cotton white dress unfurls and brushed through the lavenders, the breeze giving
the smell of the lavenders, with Alex chasing me from behind. It was just the
two of us and the lavenders, but he was determined to know who Ken was. I
couldn’t just tell him that I have a tumor and will lose my eyesight in a
matter of time, and say that Ken was here to bring me back into the judging
room, for I care about his feelings and didn’t want to disappoint him. Now the
sun was starting to set again, the orange spread over the purple, giving the
atmosphere another totally different feeling, he finally caught me in his arms
and locked in tight. Everything became silent, I had no words to say “Who was
he?” he mumbled, I hesitated but answers “My future to be husband”. He was
shocked and dropped his arms, by now the sun was gone.
I left Tasmania, and returned for my operation,
I was afraid especially without him, even if knowing in such a small amount of
time. I decided to leave him a video and an explanation of everything, I’ve
lost him. The operation went on for more than 12 hours, but I couldn’t believe
the miracle, I recovered in a short time and was able to experience the colors
again, it was a big relief, but this time I’m not going to miss out one breathe
of my life for nothing. In the letter, I told Alex to meet me at the lavender
farm 3three years later if I made through and if he still had feelings for me.
I got my plane ticket, not knowing whether I’ll find him or not. I visited the
hotel we were at, gathering the feelings and memories we experienced, the
dinner night, and the
